I am going to interrupt this blog's usual programming for a few moments of whining and complaining.
Then I will get over it.
So . . . I have been on summer break for more than a week already. Yay me!
But really. When the last bell rang on Friday the 17th of May, there was no skipping down the hallway. I did not hear the hallelujah chorus as I walked out the door. There were no celebratory cartwheels in the parking lot.
I am stressed out and overwhelmed . . . ABOUT NEXT YEAR!!!
I don't know why. . .
My summer list has only three things:
1. Change everything.
2. Rewrite curriculum from scratch.
3. Plan two new preps, for a total of five.
Ugh.
Have you ever had that back-to-school nightmare where you have a room full of students looking at you and you have no lesson plans? I had that dream. In May. . . a good three months from the start of the school year.
I will figure it out. I will find balance and I will enjoy summer with my family. I will also be productive. I will find the joy in the profession that I love. I will rise to the challenge and I will plan my little heart out. But right now, just for a little while, I kind of want to not be a teacher.
I had that same exact dream last week! My students were staring at me, and I had no clue what to do. I ended up picking a problem out of the textbook to solve. Half way through, I realized that I had no idea how to solve the problem. But, then my dream really started getting weird when the maintenance staff interrupted my class to mow the lawn *inside* my classroom...
ReplyDeleteThank you for the laugh, Sarah! It is good to know I am not alone. :)
DeleteMy nightmare is that it's the end of the school year and I'm cleaning up my classroom and saying goodbye to the students. However, when I wake up, it's September and I just met my students. I feel like crying when I wake up.
ReplyDeleteOh no! Here is hoping you get a nice relaxing summer between those two things!
DeleteIf I had a dollar for every school-related nightmare, I'd have... well, at least $50 as I average at least 2 per year.
ReplyDeleteThe problem, Amy, is right there in #1 of your summer list. You can't change everything because I'm so sure that YOU'VE DONE A LOT OF GREAT THINGS this year that you'll keep, maybe tweak it just a bit to fit the different group of kids that you'll see.
Whom do I need to speak to regarding your 5 preps next year?! That's insane!! I admire you.
Have a great summer, Amy. I know you'll spend it well with your beautiful daughter and hot husband (I've seen his pic!) :)
Oh Fawn, you always make me smile. :) It is possible I over-exaggerated my situation, but I sure did feel overwhelmed when I wrote this. The five preps is partially my own doing, as we decided as a math department to add additional course offerings. It will be great for our students, but a big adjustment for us. Thanks for being so encouraging, I promise to enjoy my summer!
DeleteI kind of want to shoot people (maybe just with jello, I'm not a violent person, really) when they say "oh, being a teacher must be sooo nice. You're done at 3:30 and you have summers off!" I've heard that so often that I would cover the entire state with sticky, jello covered people if I had the guts. Instead I laugh uncomfortably then try to explain how hard it is to deaf ears. Also, my school is year round so I kind of want to shoot myself too. I keep telling myself that my obsession with doing better is what makes me a teacher. I couldn't be good if I accepted mediocrity. The Wimbledon commentators are always talking about how hard Serina is on herself so think of yourself as the Serina of teaching :). You can't be great if you don't first think your terrible (isn't that depressing though.)
ReplyDelete